{"id":527,"date":"2012-03-17T01:24:48","date_gmt":"2012-03-16T23:24:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/zahraowens.com\/?page_id=527"},"modified":"2022-09-22T21:04:27","modified_gmt":"2022-09-22T19:04:27","slug":"a-santangelo-story","status":"publish","type":"page","link":"https:\/\/zahraowens.com\/?page_id=527","title":{"rendered":"A Santangelo story"},"content":{"rendered":"

This is for Nicki, who asked: I\u2019d like to see Michael and Gabriel from \u201cSantangelo\u201d a few months into their relationship when Gabriel is more confident about making love.<\/strong>. Well, you asked for “more confident”. Doesn’t mean he’s Casanova all of a sudden…<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>A little back story for those who haven’t read Santangelo or who need a reminder: Gabriel is a doctor who no longer practices because he was fired for being HIV positive in the nineties. He has a foster daughter, severely disabled Mia, who was never supposed to live past her birth, but who miraculously did. In \u201cSantangelo\u201d which was part of the now no longer available A Brush of Wings Anthology, he rescued Michael, a tough looking but soft spoken tattoo artist, from a gang of gay bashers. They start a tentative relationship when Michael points out that, like Mia, Gabriel deserves love too.<\/p>\n

You can find it here:<\/p>\n

\u201cSantangelo\u201d was written from Mike\u2019s POV, so this one is from Gabe\u2019s.<\/p>\n

*******<\/center><\/p>\n

\u201cI, Gabriel Santangelo, take you, Michael Zuriel to be my lawful husband, to have and to hold, in sickness and in health\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

I startled as Mia woke up in my arms. It was her sudden movement that had woken me from my slumber, because for once she didn\u2019t cry, as if she felt my blissful mood. I caressed her eyebrows with my finger and she closed her eyes again. It wouldn\u2019t be for long, because it was about time for her to be fed again.<\/p>\n

With marriage being opened up to same-sex couples in our state, Mike had asked me to marry him, but I hadn\u2019t given him an answer yet. Not that I didn\u2019t want to marry him. I just wanted things to progress a bit more between us before taking that big leap. Mike still had his apartment, although he spent every evening at mine. We shared parenting responsibilities, and I knew he made my life better, but I still felt insecure about the future, so I felt I couldn\u2019t commit to him yet. I\u2019d decided during Mia\u2019s midday feeding that I would ask Mike to move in with me, and we would see where that would lead. I never expected I\u2019d actually dream about the day we would make that official commitment to each other. I didn\u2019t doubt Mike\u2019s commitment to us, to me and Mia. He\u2019d made that abundantly clear to me from the first day we met.<\/p>\n

So the only thing holding us back was my fear; my irrational fear that I\u2019d infect him, my not-so-irrational fear that I would set him up for heartache if I got sick or died, and my fear that Mia was the glue that held us together and that once she was gone, we\u2019d find out there was nothing keeping us together anymore. Mike had told me numerous times that only time would tell how we\u2019d fare in the future, and that if he had a crystal ball he\u2019d make a killing in his tattoo parlor. I couldn\u2019t help but smile at how rescuing Mike that night had changed both of our lives.<\/p>\n

While I sat in the couch, feeding Mia through her feeding tube with a syringe, I imagined Mike coming home after closing up the shop, kissing me at the door, and then grabbing Mia from me. I never grew tired of seeing her way-too-small, emaciated body in his muscled arms and that big lug of a man, with all his piercings and tattoos, talking to her in the overly-animated voice he only used for her. She reacted to him, and it made me love him even more.<\/p>\n

\u201cCome on, darling, stay awake,\u201d I told Mia as she drifted off while her stomach filled up with formula and medication. \u201cI need you to sleep later, not now. I have a special night planned for Mike and me, and I\u2019d appreciate an hour or two without interruption.\u201d She opened her eyes again and I fervently hoped she\u2019d sleep when she was meant to, and not keep us up until the early hours like she had the last few nights.<\/p>\n

Once she was fed, I hoisted her into the sling and carried her around while I tidied up the living room and prepared the bedroom, hoping my movements would prevent her from sleeping too soundly. I turned down the bedding, fluffed up the pillows, and took out the extra-strength condoms and a new bottle of water-based lube. Then I lit the candles and turned off the lights. It looked just like I\u2019d imagined it. When I checked the time it was 12:25. Mike would be home any moment now. Just in time I remembered the heart-shaped chocolates I\u2019d bought earlier during the day, and as I put one on each pillow, I heard Mike\u2019s key in the door. As usual, he was quiet, just in case Mia was asleep, and I joined him in the living room.<\/p>\n

\u201cHey, gorgeous,\u201d he said as he leaned over Mia, carefully not to crush her, to kiss me. I could tell from his lingering but chaste kiss and the way he leaned his forehead against mine, that he was dead tired. Maybe tonight wasn\u2019t going to be the night that I\u2019d finally let him take me all the way.<\/p>\n

\u201cTough day?\u201d<\/p>\n

Mike pulled back and nodded. \u201cVery large and intricate drawing for a masochist. He wanted as much done as I could in one sitting. He\u2019s going to be sore for quite a few days.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cNot to mention you will as well?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYeah, I took breaks but I thought my arm was going to drop off after three hours straight. Want me to feed Mia?\u201d He didn\u2019t wait for an answer, but walked into the bedroom, only to walk out again after a few moment. \u201cOh hell, Gabe. You had all sorts of things planned for tonight? Why didn\u2019t you tell me?\u201d He popped the chocolate he\u2019d found on his pillow in his mouth and moaned in appreciation.<\/p>\n

\u201cWouldn\u2019t have been much of a surprise, right?\u201d<\/p>\n

I could see him thinking. \u201cWas it our anniversary or something?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cOr something,\u201d I replied with a smile. \u201cSix months ago I picked you up in that alley and sewed up your eyebrow. And the rest, as they say, is history.\u201d<\/p>\n

Mike touched the scar that had now almost completely faded. \u201cBest night of my life.\u201d He walked over to me and enveloped both Mia and me in his strong arms. Mia whimpered just a little. \u201cWhat\u2019s wrong, sweetheart? I\u2019m just showing your daddy some love.\u201d He picked her out of the sling and took her into his arms. \u201cLet\u2019s get you to bed so I can show him exactly what he means to me.\u201d He looked at me while kissing the top of her head. \u201cHow much time do we have?\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI fed her about half an hour ago.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cGood.\u201d Michael\u2019s smile was full of promise as he disappeared into her room.<\/p>\n

I\u2019d long ago stopped following him in there. This was their time together, and I trusted Michael to position her right in her cot, so she wouldn\u2019t choke or suffocate. Children like Mia took somewhat different care than most infants, but Michael had been an eager student, and I knew he cared for her deeply. Keeping busy to quell my nerves until Michael joined me in the bedroom, I started undressing and put on the short, black silk kimono I\u2019d laid out earlier. I knew how much Michael liked me in it, so that was a no-brainer.<\/p>\n

\u201cDon\u2019t tie it up yet,\u201d Michael whispered in my ear as he put his arms around me and instantly made me feel safe. He inserted his hand underneath it and caressed my chest while his other hand rested on my stomach as he kissed me behind my ear. \u201cI love the contrast of your skin and the silk. I love running my hands over it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI love your soft hands on me. Although I\u2019m not adverse to callouses either,\u201d I replied, a low moan creeping in somewhere mid-sentence as Michael brushed his fingers over my nipple.<\/p>\n

\u201cI noticed extra-strength condoms on the nightstand.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cMmmh,\u201d I nodded. \u201cI thought it was about time.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI thought you no longer wanted to. You know I\u2019m okay with what we\u2019re doing now.\u201d<\/p>\n

I turned around inside Mike\u2019s embrace and wrapped my arms around him, holding him close like he was holding me. \u201cI\u2019ve wanted this for a long time, from the beginning in fact, but I was always too scared. I think I\u2019m ready now, if you still want to. You run a bigger risk than me, so it\u2019s up to you.\u201d<\/p>\n

Mike pulled back a little, without letting go of me. \u201cWe\u2019ve been through this before, Gabe. As long as your viral load stays zero, the chance you\u2019ll infect me is next to none. And we\u2019ll be safe. That\u2019s what the condoms are for.\u201d<\/p>\n

I nodded. \u201cBut if you\u2019re too tired\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

Mike squeezed me tight. \u201cNot too tired for this.\u201d We kissed for a while, and I slowly coaxed Mike to the bed. He was still fully dressed, but he was already fumbling to unbutton his jeans without breaking the kiss while I pulled up his sweater. When we finally let go of each other, I pulled it over his head, and he slipped out of his jeans and boxers in one go. He was about half-mast, but I knew from experience that it wouldn\u2019t take much for him to get ready for action.<\/p>\n

I didn\u2019t slip out of the kimono, but let it hang open so he could see most of me too. I loved the way he looked at me when he was turned on, and I was no longer self-conscious about my slim body, because he never stopped telling me how much he liked my \u201crunner\u2019s bod.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cLie down.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cBut you wanted\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

I stopped him talking by pushing him down on the bed. \u201cI want you inside me, but that doesn\u2019t mean you need to go all caveman on me. You had a long day. Let me do the work.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou took care of Mia all day. I know how much that takes out of you. Especially since she hasn\u2019t been sleeping much and\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n

This time I stopped him with a kiss as I straddled him. It felt good to rub myself against his hairy belly while I massaged his shoulders. It made him moan, which in turn made me smile. After years of living in a sexual desert, Mike had tapped into an oasis and had given me the confidence and love I never knew was missing from my life. I was finally ready to give something back, for not entirely unselfish reasons. I admit I\u2019d been quite the slut in my younger years, but all that had changed when I was given the deadly diagnosis. My \u201cdo no harm\u201d doctor\u2019s vow had kicked in with a vengeance, and I\u2019d retreated into my own shell, denying myself even the slightest intimacy.<\/p>\n

Mike\u2019s relentless but patient insistence easily pierced my armor, and six months later, I couldn\u2019t imagine my life without him anymore. Still, he\u2019d been patient and careful, letting me get to where we were now at my own pace. In turn, I had planned this evening carefully, preparing myself for him, so we wouldn\u2019t need too much time opening me up.<\/p>\n

\u201cFucking put one of your condoms on me, Gabe.\u201d<\/p>\n

If Mike was swearing, I had him exactly where I wanted him. Reluctantly I pulled away from him, shaking the unease that the mixing of our bodily fluids still caused in me, and grabbed a condom and the lube from the night stand. My hands were shaking, so Mike took the condom and put it on himself without too much ceremony. \u201cGimme that too,\u201d he said, pointing at the lube in my hand.<\/p>\n

\u201cNope. Got it,\u201d I replied, squirting some on my hand and reaching behind. Despite the fact that it had been years since anyone fucked me, the buttplug I\u2019d used earlier in the day had given me the confidence to know Mike would fit inside me.<\/p>\n

I could see Mike\u2019s lustful look, but also his impatience and maybe a little envy, like he wanted to do what I was doing. \u201cDon\u2019t look at me like that. We\u2019ve done this. I just wanted to get a move on.\u201d Mike smiled and I melted, leaning down to kiss him. I knew I was as ready as I was going to be, so I broke the kiss and wiped the excess lube over his condom-clad cock before raising myself just enough to sit down over him. It still burned so I took it slow, but when Mike mimicked what was obviously my expression, I smiled at him.<\/p>\n

\u201cTry to enjoy it, Mikey,\u201d I said, not without effort.<\/p>\n

\u201cI can\u2019t if you hurt that much.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cDoesn\u2019t hurt.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cYou could have fooled me.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cIt\u2019s you, Mike. You couldn\u2019t hurt me if you tried.\u201d<\/p>\n

Carefully, Mike raised himself, and I couldn\u2019t prevent my eyes traveling from his face to his rippling abs. He wrapped one arm around me and squeezed my butt cheek.<\/p>\n

\u201cNeed more lube, I think,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n

I still wasn\u2019t fully seated, but I grabbed the tube and handed it to him. When he squeezed some into his hand and started rubbing it on the part of his cock that wasn\u2019t inside me yet, it felt cool and soothing, so I started rocking back and forth.<\/p>\n

\u201cBetter?\u201d<\/p>\n

I nodded.<\/p>\n

\u201cTake your own advice then?\u201d<\/p>\n

I threw him a questioning look.<\/p>\n

\u201cEnjoy it.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI am.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cCould\u2019ve fooled me.\u201d<\/p>\n

I wiped whatever stickiness was left on my hand on his ribs and took his face in my hands. \u201cI love you. I couldn\u2019t not enjoy it.\u201d Slowly, this started to become true. Mike was holding me with one arm, urging me on to move while he leaned on his other arm. My cock was hardening again as it was stimulated by the soft hairs on his belly, and the burn was starting to ebb. I could feel him filling me up, making all the nerve-endings inside me catch fire.<\/p>\n

\u201cNow we\u2019re talking,\u201d Mike mumbled as he tried to meet me half-way.<\/p>\n

I was still wearing the kimono and it slipped down my shoulders, but I barely noticed. The silk was cool against my skin, which was just as well, since my skin was on fire. Mike kissed me again, although I noticed it took more effort than before, and he was moaning. \u201cYou okay, sport?\u201d<\/p>\n

He nodded. \u201cYou\u2019re tight. And hot. God, I love this. Not going to last.\u201d He grabbed me tighter as he upped the tempo of his fast and shallow thrusts. We couldn\u2019t kiss anymore, and I desperately wanted to come with him inside me. How had I survived all these years without this?<\/p>\n

Mike let go of me, and I thought he was going to come, but instead he took my cock in his hand. I was leaking steadily, and his hand on me gave me a sudden rush. At the same time it changed the angle of his thrusts, and I could feel the tightness in my balls just before I coated his hand and belly with my release. Mike followed closely behind as he pulled me to him and convulsed underneath me.<\/p>\n

Mike fell back on the bed and took me with him. I could barely move since I was entangled in the kimono.<\/p>\n

And then Mike started shaking. For a moment I was worried, but then I could see that he was laughing. Despite the fact that we were desperately out of breath, he grabbed my head and pulled me into a crushing kiss. It didn\u2019t last long and when we pulled apart, we were both laughing, although for the life of me I don\u2019t know why.<\/p>\n

\u201cYou know, my angel,\u201d Mike said as soon as he managed enough breath. \u201cI didn\u2019t really miss it before tonight. I liked how we made love. Now I don\u2019t know why we didn\u2019t do it before.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cI know,\u201d I replied, still giggling like a child. \u201cI never missed this either, not really. Now, well\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

\u201cWill you<\/em> fuck me<\/em> next time?\u201d<\/p>\n

I pulled back a little to see whether he was kidding.<\/p>\n

\u201cSo what? I\u2019m not allowed to bottom?\u201d<\/p>\n

I smiled. How could I deny this man anything? Although we\u2019d sure make a weird sight. Me: tall, skinny, lily-white skin, and few muscles. Mike: big, buff, muscles in all the right places, and tattoos in some of the not-so-right places covering olive skin. But then, nobody would be watching.<\/p>\n

A soft crying sound started emanating from the next room, plucking us right out of our blissful slumber.<\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll get her,\u201d Mike said, ripping off the condom and tying it up before he discarded it. \u201cNeed to clean up anyway.\u201d He returned with our daughter in her blanket and a wash cloth for me, before going to the kitchen to mix up her formula.<\/p>\n

\u201cThanks for giving me the time with Mike, Mia,\u201d I whispered against her dark hair. She looked up at me with her large, black eyes, and I could have sworn she smiled.<\/p>\n